Time to give my perfectionist self a break...Will Santa Cruz Half and I ever make peace?

I am a perfectionist by nature. I take after my father. I love organization and get a high from reorganizing and putting things in their proper place. I do not attempt something unless I plan on giving it my all. I do not do things half way. I'm either in it for the long haul or not at all. I am someone you would want to share a foxhole with....I tend to rock the boat though too but that goes hand in hand with the art of perfectionism... but I digress.... perfectionism....

And so it is with running. I take it too seriously sometimes and do not allow my body to simply be nourished by the benefits of running. I often forget that along with the physical aspects of what it does for me it also helps me mentally and spiritually and it is the latter two that often get forgotten amidst the goals I set for myself. Sometimes I am able to remind myself of these benefits and I cut myself some slack but all too often it is another runner or a friend that will help me see that there are times when setting a new PR should not always be the goal.

This brings me to The Santa Cruz Half-Marathon which I will run on Sunday. This race and I seem to be at odds with each other and it doesn't seem right especially given the fact that SC is my favorite beach town. It's where I hang out in the summer and where I have so many fond memories. Even so, I just can't seem to get it right at this race.

I first ran in back in '07 and had reserved a room for Saturday night so I could be there early on Sunday morning. I hate the stress of driving to a race on race day, especially if it's over an hour drive. So, the girls and I headed out Saturday morning, got to Santa Cruz, checked in and then we hung out at the boardwalk for a while, I picked up my bib and then we hung out with friends. I was feeling a little tired but nothing out of the ordinary and for the most part felt pretty good about this race. I had trained well and felt ready to tackle it with every perfectionist bone in my body. I couldn't shake the slight achiness I felt though...

Ah! But the body you see is so infinitely intricate isn't it? Mine had decided to turn itself against me back in 2004 when my invisible enemy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, took up residence in my body. In 2007, despite taking the fact that I had my monthly doctor appointments and I took all my meds like a good little girl, I pretty much didn't talk about RA with anyone except family and even then I brushed it off as nothing. This auto-immune disease was something that I would get over with time, much like the flu or some other annoying virus. At the time of this race I had not yet become an expert at listening to my body and recognizing the effects of what this disease was doing to me. I had begun running back in '06 partly to run from my demons but also because I secretly knew that one of the things that was going to keep me healthy and stave off this disease was to exercise every day. And so it was that I had one of my first "flare ups" that night in the hotel room. Had I paid more attention to my body and knew then what I know now, I would have known what was coming. And so it was that I stayed up for most of the night soaking my gnarling hands in the hot water in the bathroom sink of the hotel. I would lay down for what seamed to only be a few minutes and I would be up again soaking my hands. Around 3 am I found some "Tiger Balm" in my bag and I spread it all over my hands paying particular attention to my joints and then put socks on my hands. By morning I was exhausted from being up all night and I still could not properly use my fingers. This flare up had only attacked my hands this time though and not my entire body so I decided to run anyway. I managed to get my running gear on and then spread more tiger balm on my hands and put my running gloves on. I kept them on the entire race and managed to keep my hands in the same position for the entire 13.1 miles so I wouldn't feel as much pain...drinking water from my water bottle was painful and I had to always use both hands but managed it somehow...how I set a PR that day is still unknown to me... Back at the hotel after the race I just laid in a hot tub and let my joints soak in the warmth as tears spilled down my cheeks...I don't think I would do that again, but then again...maybe I would...I am as stubborn now as I was then and I refuse to let this disease get me down...it is certainly NOT recommended to do what I did but we each have our own demons to fight and that day I had to fight mine...

In 2008 I signed up for the race again determined to set a new PR and at the same time regain some of my dignity. I signed up early to guarantee my spot. And then in February I find out I had to have surgery (another story for another time). I did what I had to do, followed the doc's orders and fully intended to be at that starting line in April...my body on the other hand had other ideas and by race day I was still in the process of recuperating. I was irked to say the least both by the fact that I lost my entry fee but also because I would have to wait another year....

And so we arrive at present day. I have my bib in hand and am ready to do this despite the fact that the past year has been wrought with hospital visits and my body has been pricked and prodded more times than I care to count and my training has been irregular except for the past three months... race day is a day and a half away and I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself about my performance...

Yesterday however as I stood in line at The Sports Basement to pick up my bib, I looked around at the other runners and was drawn to how different we all looked from one another. We each were there with a different purpose and a different goal in mind. Some looked like what one would think a runner should look like and others looked the furthest thing from a runner. That is what draws me to this group of unique people...there really is no such thing as a "typical runner." If you lace up your shoes and you log your miles every day or every week you are a runner. Regardless of body shape or composition. Regardless of race goal...

I realized yesterday that I am part of a very unique group of people. One half of one percent (thank you Tim for the stats) of the population do what I do. Most of my neighbors don't do what I do. So it's true that this past year has been wrought with valleys and I have not seen many mountaintops but what is important is that I have not given up (I've thought about it a few times) and even on the days when I was in excruciating pain and wondered if there would come a day when I wouldn't be able to run anymore, today I WILL run. Today I WILL lace up my shoes and be grateful that I can. Today I WILL allow my body to enjoy what running does for me. Today I WILL enjoy myself and on Sunday I WILL join my fellow runners and we will each run our own race...

Rock on fellow runners.. I'll see you at the start line...

Another Mud Run under my belt...

And so it is fellow runners, this Runnerchik finishes another Big Sur Mud Run, celebrates another birthday and starts out 2009 with a bang. This was my first run of the year and it was a great way to start my racing calendar for 2009 (despite getting a slow start) as well as celebrate my 40th birthday. I had run it back in '07 when I celebrated my 38th and I vowed to myself that I would return to celebrate my 40th. There were times this year that I doubted it would happen due to the various medical issues I have suffered this past year as well as the overwhelming task of remodeling my new house but despite the setbacks this runner just keeps on runnin'.

This year, race day dawned crisp and clear and by the time the girls and I were rolling into Monterrey, the sun was shining and it was warming up a bit (what what can consider "warm" for Monterrey). The set up was pretty much the same as 2007 except that the venue has grown a bit and as I walked towards the check-in station to pick up my bib and chip I saw that the final mud pit had changed a bit as well. The army net that covered the pit made it appear more challenging and it seemed deeper than last time. I also saw that they had taken away the tunnel that came just before the final mud pit. I knew I wouldn't miss that part of the race as last time the tiny rocks that they had spread through the small claustrophobic enclosure seemed to have lodged themselves in my knees forever as I crawled through it...

As I stood in line to pick up my bib, I looked around at my fellow competitors and saw the usual teams as well as individual runners. I could tell it was going to be a great run as the sky was clear and it was not cold at all.

I was in the second wave and we watched as the first wave took off and then we prepared ourselves for the military "warmup." It is always a lot of fun and makes for a great start to an otherwise rather unorthodox race. As we did our "pushups" and our "situps" on the very hard and pebble-ridden blacktop, I couldn't help but wish for my yoga mat. Not very military-like huh? I also kept thinking of my friend Lynda's son Jonathan who just recently joined the military and all the things he has to go through in boot camp. I decided to suck it up and give it everything I had.

Our wave took off at about 9:13 (the first wave took off at 9) and we took off down the street for about the first mile and half 'till we came to the first shallow mud pit (no more than shin deep) as well as the first barricades which we had to hustle and climb over. I could tell that for some it was their first mud run as they were not quite sure what to do. Some just sort of stopped and tried to figure out how to get over the barricades...Others, like myself, made sure we had a good speed to ensure we got over the barricade in one jump - wet, muddy shoes and all. Legs were flying, some were getting kicked and mud was flying everywhere!!! What a blast!!! Can you think of a better way to celebrate one's 40th?

Once one is through the first mud pit it is nothing but running through the sand for another couple of miles. For those who were not used to running hills much less in the sand they were dying out there. The course description listed on the website is very vague and it was clear that many were not quite sure what they had gotten into. Running in the sand is already particularly difficult but couple that with hills and unless one's calves are in very good shape and one's endurance level is up for those hills, it can prove to be a very challenging race - even if it is only five miles...

After running in the sand for a couple of miles the terrain levels off a bit and right before we hit mud # 2 and # 3 we get a "water" station passing out beer. Yes, beer. Needless to say I passed. I ran a little further and they were passing out water. I took that gladly. The smell of beer was rather nauseating but soon I came upon the second mud pit and forgot all about it. We hit the second and third pits both of which come with their own five-foot wall which is nicely centered in the middle of the mud pit. Once one accomplishes the task of getting over the wall one has to jump back into the mud pit and then climb out of it via a very muddy and very slippery slope. This is repeated twice - once at the second pit and again at the third. The only difference is that at the third pit one has to "walk the plank" in order to get into the mud pit. If one falls off the plank, they would find themselves ....well.... at the bottom of the mud pit.... if successful in "walking the plank," it is only a matter of walking (or wading) through the mud pit, climbing the five-foot wall, jumping over the other side into the mud pit and then climbing the slippery slope.... after all...... what's a little mud...?

We're nearing the end now but keep in mind that this course is not marked and while there are military personnel at different checkpoints, there are no mile markers. Every military person I asked either didn't know what mile we were at or had the same rehearsed saying: " You're about halfway there ma'am... I don't know if I was more annoyed at the fact that they were calling me "ma"am" or the fact that they seemed completely perplexed why these mud-stricken runners were so intent on knowing what mileage we were at. There is no way I would wear my Garmin at a mud run so I had to count on a runner here or there that had the time on them. Next time I'll buy a cheap Walmart stopwatch.....

After the third mud pit we came out on blacktop again and so the running became a little easier. We ran until we came up on the last hill where I knew from running the last one in '07 that once one comes up and over the hill one has to run down into the last mud pit which is covered by a big camouflage army net. This is where the majority of the spectators stay and is the best place for photos opportunities both for seeing the runners getting into the pit but also coming out.... Needless to say I took that last pit and gave it everything I had. By this time I was so muddy that it really made no sense to take it easy so I crouched down and ran through it, squishing mud beneath my shoes and came out yelling on the other side. There is also a slippery slope on this pit too and despite looking easy, it is very easy to slip and fall primarily because there is so much water dripping off of everyones body. I had managed not to slip or fall once the entire race and there was no way I was going to let it happen at the end and let it get caught on camera. I came out on the top of the last slope, gave the photographer my signature "Victory" sign and took off towards the finish line. On the way to the finish line there is a "shower" that ones runs through in order to get to the track which takes one to the finish line. The shower is merely a "formality" but the psychological aspect of running through a "shower" after one runs in the mud for an hour or so is nothing if not completely comical. The dismayed look on runners' faces once they realize that the "showers" described on the website are nothing more than hoses draped over a steel frame and fully exposed, is priceless. No shampoo and soap at these showers. Thankfully I am quite familiar with Monterrey and know of a perfect shower only a few miles away.

After retrieving my medal ( very cool by the way) and my shirt, I hung around with the girls and munched on oranges and bagels as the sun warmed up my body. I waited for the results to come in and saw that my time was 56:16. I was five minutes slower this year than two years ago but I cut myself some slack due to the irregular training for the last six months.

I had an absolute blast! I made new friends (as I always do at these functions) and told the girls we'd be back to celebrate my 42nd birthday. The Big Sur mud Run will be in it's 6th year, it will be my third Mud Run and I will celebrate another victorious birthday!

Rock on runners....