Ragnar Relay - 2012

Ragnar Relay is coming up on September 14-15, 2012 and I've got exactly 3 months to train. While I am not fearing the miles, I am a little anxious about the night running and how I will feel sleeping and eating in a van with a bunch of other runners. It's not being in the van that concerns me, it's more the night running and how I will feel about running different legs of the 200-mile race after potentially not getting enough sleep. However, I have ALWAYS wanted to run a Ragnar for as long as I can remember so it was an honor to be invited to be a part of this team. There is no way that my fears or anxieties will keep me away from this race. I know it will be an experience of a lifetime... As soon as my Bikram Yoga Challenge is over I will start training for Ragnar. :) I would appreciate tips from anyone who has done a Ragnar before. :)

Have you gone for a run lately? :)



From Runnerchik to Yogachik - Conquering Triangle

Ha! TWO posts in the SAME month?!!? Runnerchik must have some extra time on her hands...

Summer school can be a killer but the good part is I only work Monday - Thursday instead of Monday - Friday. Loving my Fridays OFF! So I thought I would do some catching up (the story of my life) on what's been going on.

My daughter and I are still doing our Bikram Yoga Challenge at http://www.bikramyogastockton.com/ and loving every minute of it. OK. Maybe not every minute but almost every minute. :) Some days are very hectic because of school (I'm teaching and she's taking college classes) and then of course there is life to handle and take care of. I miss logging my miles but with teaching and doing yoga for 1.5 hours every day, there is not much time left in the schedule. We take each day and handle it as it comes, keeping the goal in mind. I am so very proud of my daughter for committing to this challenge and not giving up. Her determination to do this reminds me of her determination to train and run CIM (http://www.runcim.org/) last December. This girl is going to do just fine. I am so proud of the young woman she has become and I cannot wait to see the things she will accomplish in her life. Even with the challenges that come up throughout the week, we both have managed to keep up with the rigorous schedule of taking a 1.5 hour Bikram class 6 days a week.

The physical and mental changes that have occurred in just 30 days have been fantastic! Stephanie's back bends are phenomenal and my right hamstring is getting better everyday. Several poses I could not do previously, I can now do and HOLD for the full required minute. My balance and flexibility has improved and so has my strength, which have helped improve my running. One of the MOST challenging poses for me has always been triangle, precisely because of my torn hamstring. Sometimes it felt like running made it worse and then sometimes when I would do yoga consistently it felt like I was tearing it even more. I have always backed off a little each time that happened and that way have always been able to continue doing what I love: working out. This time around even though it still hurt, I kept at it. Somewhere along the line it just stopped hurting and I was able to do both sets of TRIANGLE without coming out. Feeling like a ROCKSTAR!! I have to say TRIANGLE POSE ROCKS!!

33 days down and 27 more days to go in the Bikram Yoga Challenge and then I will be training for Tough Mudder (http://www.toughmudder.com/) and Ragnar Relay (http://www.ragnarrelay.com/) both happening in the month of September and two weeks apart. Ha! We'll see how this Runnerchik survives... LOTS of running coming up in my schedule as soon as I finish the yoga challenge.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the summer and my H O T Yoga. :) It's going to be 93 degrees today and 104 degrees tomorrow. Can't wait! These are the days to train life a fiend, mow lawns, and then lounge by the pool. All of these are on my To-Do-List....

I'm thinking of skipping yoga tonight and going for a run instead. This means I'll have to do double classes to catch, but I think it just might be worth it.... more on that later. :)

Have you gone for a run lately?

Life on the mat

On May 13, 2012 my daughter and I started our 60-Day Bikram Yoga Challenge at Bikram Yoga Stockton. My third. Her first. It's called a "challenge" for a reason. It's not for the faint of heart. You have to be truly committed and determined to finish otherwise it just won't happen. One could say the same thing about running, but the cool thing about running is that I can almost run when I want to. There is no scheduled class that I have to be at. No doors that will be locked if I get there late. If work has been hectic and there is a TON of stuff to do when I get home, I can always run at night. Even if it means wearing the ugly reflective vest and the "miner's headlamp." Ha! Not the case with Bikram yoga. Classes are only held at certain times so you're either there or you're not. You're either meeting the challenge or you're not. This is often a bit too structured for most people.

In order to complete the 60-Day challenge, the yogi must take a minimum of six classes per week. One a day, or you can double up if you miss a day. In order for this to happen, one must schedule one's day around the classes available. This means an hour and a half per class, plus the driving time (30 minutes round trip for me) which adds up to two hours of my time every day. Not an easy task when you're working full time and caring for your kids etc. Everything from laundry to meals has to be scheduled so we can get it all done. It's exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time, however the mental and physical changes that go on during a challenge are astounding and are the reasons I keep showing up on the mat. There are days that I feel the same way I do when I hit the proverbial "wall" in a marathon: "Why am I doing this?!?" "Why did I sign up for this?!?" "Would the instructor just shut up already?!?"

And then there are days when I feel like a million bucks! "I'm a rock star for completing this challenge." There are days I manage to do EVERY posture without taking a break and I  feel like I could do yoga forever. This week I did double classes twice to make up for days I had to miss and I felt empowered. Three hours of yoga a day?!? Yeah! I rocked it! Kinda like running. The days when I feel so light on my feet that I feel as though I could run forever. I love days like that! The valleys and the mountaintops...you can't have one without the other.

Despite being very different, yoga and running have a lot in common. Namely, structure, commitment, endurance, determination, and integrity.The structure part of it is obvious as yoga requires structure in order for there to be any real change in ones body and running requires structure in order for one to improve one's pace etc. Commitment and endurance are also required as both sports demand a real commitment in order to see improvement in the postures/pace and endurance if one is to finish strong in either sport. The determination in both these sports is what allows one to reach the finish line. That "bulldog determination" where one refuses to give up no matter what the obstacles are and the joy that comes from the challenge.

I've often said that I could go into the Bikram yoga studio and simply "go through the motions" of doing the postures without any real integrity and still get credit for the class and tell myself that "at least I went to class." The same could be said about running. I go out on my runs and I am accountable to no one but myself. I push myself as much or as little as I want to or feel like. I could tell myself: "Well, at least I got out there." The instructor in the yoga studio may or may not notice that I am not pushing myself as hard and I can also "fake it" to a certain point to make it seem like I am exerting all my energy. The point is, I either have the integrity to do all the postures and to push myself to my limit or I don't. I either have the determination to stick to the plan or I don't. No one can give that to me or do it for me. Only I know what my limit is. Likewise, only YOU know what your limit is. I can feel my body telling me to run just a little faster or to push a little harder on that hill and it is up to me to listen to that voice or ignore and it. I can feel the muscles on the back of my legs begin to engage to give me the strength to hold the posture in yoga for one full minute without falling out. I KNOW when I can give just a little bit more and I also KNOW when giving just a bit more will make the difference between an OK run and a GREAT run and an OK Bikram class and a class where I kicked butt and my body knows it. There is something to be said for the integrity in that. I would venture to say that most non-runners simply do not get it. And that's OK.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about this topic and I commented about the amount of miles he was putting in and the time spent doing it. I said to him that to most non-runners, people like us simply DO NOT HAVE A LIFE. Ha! At least it appears that way. In fact, we DO have a life, it's just different. It simply revolves around running. I often schedule my runs at the beginning of the week and for sure before I go to bed at night so I know what workout I'll be doing the next day. I guess that's too structured for most people and perhaps it is, but my runs/workouts would never happen unless I schedule them that way. I have found that most people who "talk about working out" but never end up doing anything or start and then quit, usually give up because they don't want to live such a structured life. With jobs, kids, errands, bills, friends, relationships, appointments, church and whatever else takes up your time, how do you fit in a workout everyday? Life is busy and its crazy that taking care of one's body is usually at the bottom of the "to do list." It takes determination, structure, commitment and integrity, with a little bit of endurance thrown in. :) Whether you're hitting the mat or the pavement, you need a little of each.

Namaste.

Sleep? What's that?

I started this blog back in '07 because a friend encouraged me to write as a way to communicate with others who share similar interests and also as a way to keep writing; something I love but don't find time to do. Part of my frustration back in '07 was that I was recently divorced and busier than ever. When I had been been married I was always busy but now as a divorced woman, working two jobs and raising two girls, the word "busy" took on a whole new meaning. There were days I felt I had to schedule my potty breaks. I know there are many of you out there in similar situations, who have equally, or quite possibly even more demanding schedules. This blog was intended to share my struggles with being a single working mom, a graduate student and a runner and perhaps find ways to "make it all work," despite the demands that were placed upon me. However, this blog itself is proof that there is simply NEVER enough time, as I rarely post.

I am a perfectionist by nature. Type A personality all the way. Work is what I do. I often wonder what it would be like to be more laid back and sit and read a book while the dishes are piled in the sink, and the laundry sits undone. My kids will tell you I don't rest until it's all done. The problem is that it is rarely ever ALL done. There is always something to do. As I have grown older I have tried to find balance, in fact if there is anything I have strived for in life it was to find balance in all that I do. From exercise, to work, to eating habits etc. Extremes in anything rarely pay off. But that work mode, that drive to get it ALL done, has been hard to curb (I blame my Dad for that. Darn his work ethic that rubbed off on me). And because now I am the only adult in the house I have what I call the "mom duties" AND the "dad duties." Sometimes, I'm mopping floors or baking banana bread, nursing sick kids and doing girl stuff but other days I am mowing lawns, cutting down trees, fixing leaking pipes or cleaning out the gutters. It just comes with the territory of being a single mom. And so comes that battle to find the balance. The search for extra time in the day to get it all done. And then there's the ME TIME. How and when do I find time to run? Better yet, when is it OK to call it a day and just sleep?

I titled today's post: "Sleep? What's that?" because in many ways I feel like I have been trying to sleep since I was 17 when I got my first job. Since then, it seems that sleep has been something that eludes me. There are days where I feel like the only time I will ever get to sleep is when I'm ill or when I'm dead. As parents, we know that with the birth of one's children sleep is something you will probably never do again, at least not until they're out of the house and by then, your body has gotten so used to living on such little sleep that you just automatically get up early. Ha! And so goes life right?

Today is the last day of my Spring Break. It has been a good week off and I've accomplished quite a bit. Not as much as I would have liked, but enough to feel somewhat productive. I told the girls last night that I was going to "sleep in" on Friday morning, my last day of Spring Break. With my oldest being 18, I am now afforded the privilege of having her drive my youngest to school sometimes. So, despite the fact that my To Do List is as big as ever, I told myself to take a day and sleep. A gift to myself if you will. A way to find that "balance." And so I went to bed at a decent time on Thursday night and relished in the fact that I was going to just sleep and sleep until my body had had enough. I have never had a hard time falling asleep and it was no different last night. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. The girls came in the morning before they left for school and kissed me goodbye. I felt a little guilty actually, but I just laid there and sleep overcame me again and I slept. I could hear the rain hitting the skylight and I wrapped the blankets closer around me until the jolt of the phone awakened me and my youngest's voice said: "Mom, can you come get me? I don't feel well." She'd been at school for maybe an hour. Sleep? Who needs it?

Vanessa on our 22-mile training run last December. She rode her bike while we ran and carried extra water for us.

And so it goes folks. I sit here writing this blog as my daughter is sleeping in her bed nursing a sick tummy, my dishes are piled in the sink, I have a stack of papers to grade, laundry waiting to be washed and folded, gutters that need to be cleaned after yesterday's storm and I'm thankful. Thankful that God saw fit to fill my body with energy and a stubbornness that just won't quit. Yes, I often do not get enough sleep and because I am a working mom, I don't get to go on all the field trips or soccer games or see my daughters perform in all their plays and choir performances and sometimes I have to have my oldest take my youngest to her doctor appointments because I've used up all my sick days. And on those days I often feel guilty. Guilty that I am not able to be supermom and do it ALL. It's life though. And it's a good life and I have to acknowledge the fact that I am not supermom and it's OK to take off the cape. I often wish that I could have been a stay-at-home mom and enjoyed all those moments with my girls. Each of us is dealt a hand of cards when we are born. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just the way we play the hand.  

And so I'm thankful. Thankful that I am strong and have two jobs that supply for our needs. Thankful that I have the energy to run when times allows it. Thankful that I have two wonderful girls who are growing up to be beautiful, strong, independent young women. Thankful that I was home today when that phone call came through and that sweet little voice at the other end of the line said: "Mom? Can you come get me? I don't feel well."

"I'll be right there babe."

These are the cards that I was dealt and I will play them to the best of my ability and maybe, if there's still time, I'll go for a run.

www.facebook.com/lifeinthedayofarunner

Love/hate ralationship with "rest days"

I've worked out non-stop for over a week now with no rest day. Not smart. I know this, but I don't follow my own advice out of an incessant need to exercise my body to its limits. Well, now I'm paying for it. I went out Thursday night after work and went for a six-mile run after doing 6 days non-stop of yoga, even though my body was craving rest. On a couple of days last week, I actually ran AND did yoga. My body was begging for rest. So much so, that my run sucked that night. I simply had no energy. My legs felt like lead. But we've all had days like that though right? Days where you're just not "feeling it." As athletes, we learn to ignore those kinds feelings and to push through it because we know that we will feel better on the other side of that workout.Those feelings are usually temporary and are quite often replaced with a huge high following the workout.

So after my run Thursday night, I just crashed. I fell into a deep coma-like sleep already feeling pain in my joints and muscles. So on Friday (Good Friday no less) I ended up having a forced rest day if you will, and on the first day of my vacation. Body was happy. Brain was not. My brain usually wins so I gave in to the body this time. Actually I had no choice. I've had this happen before, where I will go for days and days and sometimes weeks with no rest day and eventually my body just says: "That's it. We're done." Mentally and physically I was done. I couldn't have worked out even if you were paying me to do so. I simply had no energy to speak of. You'd think I'd know this by now right? Perhaps I was waiting for a sign that my body needed rest?

Every athlete knows that rest days are essential to good training; no less important than proper hydration and eating habits. However, I know I'm not the only athlete out there that struggles to take a break from training. There is this incessant desire to run, to feel the wind in my face and the adrenaline begin to flow, to push one's body just a little further. It's a drug all of it's own and when we don't get our drug, we often get cranky.

I practice Bikram yoga on the days when I am not running, as a way to cross train and because it provides such a thorough workout in only an hour and a half. The stretching alone does wonders for my running. For those familiar with Bikram yoga, you know it is an intense hour and half. It is definitely not a workout for the faint of heart (aka WIMPS). I've seen body builders nearly pass out from exhaustion halfway though the workout. There are twenty-six postures that make up the Bikram series and once we reach the floor series, we practice savasana (dead body pose) in between each posture. Each savasana lasts for about 30 seconds and one is supposed to lay there completely motionless as the sweat drip/rolls off your body. No scratching, wiping or moving allowed. Just REST. This rest allows one's body to return to normal breathing and for the blood flow to return to normal after the constricting poses. To quote Bikram Choudhury (founder of Bikram Yoga): "This asana is important because it allows tensed muscles to relax and blood to flow equally to all parts of the body." It's essentially a healing that is taking place. I'll admit that savasana is often one of the hardest poses to practice because one must be completely STILL. Being still is not always easy. Trust me, it looks easier than it is. It is welcoming at first but with the adrenaline that is flowing through one's body, it is only natural to want to get up and continue on with the strenuous activity of burning fat, stretching or what ever else you may be striving for. Simply put, the body needs rest. And I'll admit, I'm not good at it.

So, after pushing myself this last week and on my first day of spring break, I end up in bed because my body was screaming for rest. My body didn't give me much choice. I spent the next 24 hours in bed attempting to regain my strength. Tired muscles, arthritis flare-up and lack of hunger is what I ended up with.

Of course for the first couple of hours, I laid there complaining in my head about the workout I had planned and was now not going to do. I was going to hit up the yoga studio at 9 am,(something I never get to do in the AM because of work) and then later that afternoon I was going for a 5 or 6 mile run. 2 workouts in one day on my first day of vacation. I was psyched. WAS being the key word there. My body had a very different idea of how I was going to spend that first day of vacation. I proceeded to lay in bed for the next 24 hours nursing my aching joints and muscles and attempting to eat despite the fact that everything made me want to puke.

Twenty-four hours later, I feel much better. Not 100%, but better. Whatever was ailing me is slowly going away and I am beginning to feel a bit more "normal" (I know, I know, for the average person I am not normal because of my insane workout schedule but this is MY normal). So, I'm taking the rest of vacation day #2 to catch up on light housekeeping duties, grade tons of college papers and then quite possibly hit the yoga studio at 3 this afternoon. Have I learned my lesson? Probably not. It's my personality. I push everything to its limits. But, I certainly am going to pay more attention to the little signs my body gives me and not let my brain win this game every time.

Daughter Follows in Mom's Running Shoes

Two years have gone by since my last post and it saddens me to think that my life has really been this busy. In the two years that have gone by I have remodeled a house, written a 125-page thesis, graduated from Sac State with my Master's, in addition to doing the normal stuff (working two jobs, caring for my children, and taking care of my house). Oh yeah, and running.

Running has not completely taken a backseat to everything else in my life despite the fact that I have not been training for any BIG races lately. I have still kept running but I have missed the more rigorous training schedule. I have had to put racing aspirations aside for awhile as I focused on other things. During these past two years I have reacquainted myself with Bikram Yoga and have practiced in conjunction to my running which has helped tremendously with my endurance and flexibility. I will take some time later to write about my amazing experience with Bikram.

So, while life has just sped by, other changes have taken place and good things are happening. I am learning to accept the things about myself that I cannot change and attempting to be more flexible where I normally would not be. The fact is: I AM ALWAYS BUSY. Plain and simple. I always have something going on. I don't go out searching for things to do. I just have a lot going on. I am never bored. EVER. I actually do not ever believe I have ever uttered the words: "I AM BORED." Nonetheless, I find that with such a busy lifestyle, I need more time. There is just simply not enough time in the day to do all the things I want or would like to do. With this type of a lifestyle certain things suffer, such as just laying around being lazy with your kids, taking a stroll without any timeline or goal in mind, shooting the breeze with a friend you bump into and not worrying about what is not getting done, taking the time to bake something with your kids that was not planned. I miss and want those things in my life but my TO DO LIST is often overpowering. I am therefore, a work in progress and I know that upon my deathbed, I will still have an unfinished TO DO LIST that I will be handing to my daughters as they roll their eyes at me.

That said, I have been thinking about this blog this whole year and have wanted to get back to it. Partially because I miss writing and secondly because of the therapeutic results it provides. So, I start once again today with a resolve to take some time out of my busy schedule to sit and write a bit and perhaps dialogue with others out there that perhaps struggle with similar things in their life. This blog originally started with the goal of writing about running but I have since come to accept that running, while immensely important in my life, is only a part of who I am and that I am so much more than just a crazy runner who often runs a crazy amount of miles. I am a mother, a girlfriend, a teacher, a daughter, a yogi, a friend, a learner, a landscaper, an organizer, a lover of memories, a baker, a cook, a writer and sometimes a dreamer. Yes, I am runner. My life often seems to be a metaphor for one long MARATHON. Nevertheless, as a runner, I realize that I need to be more flexible and allow for periods of rest.

Today's post therefore, comes with great excitement as I have news to share that thrills my heart. My daughter Stephanie, who will be a senior in High School this coming school year, recently approached me with concerns about what she should do for her mandatory Senior Project. It was with great surprise that she told me she was considering running a half marathon as her Senior Project. As with any Senior Project, she would need a mentor, would need to do research and would have to do field work. She thought the half marathon would be a good option since she had never run more than 6 miles as part of the cross country team at her school and that it would be a challenge to finish the research, the training (field work) and the actual race itself. I was elated as she has never shown interest in running more than a 5K and has often told me that the idea of a longer race just ever seemed attainable. Here is where I opened my BIG mouth: "Instead of running a half marathon, have you thought about running a full marathon? After all, this IS your senior project and you would like it to be a real challenge, something that not even your cross country buddies have done." She took me up on it. Just like that. I was amazed, shocked and excited all at once. We immediately started making plans for the research she would need to do as well as what the final project/paper would look like. I have a Master's degree in composition and I have run 5 marathons myself so I feel so honored to be able to mentor her as she writes this project and trains for this marathon. I am so proud of you Stephanie!

Look for details about our training and about the Marathon she and I will run together in December: The California International Marathon

Santa Cruz and I Make Peace...

It's been two weeks since I ran Santa Cruz Half and it has taken me this long to be able to blog about it. The truth is simple: I really do not have the time for blogging. I don't like to admit to the fact that I am really this busy but the reality of my life at this time is such that it allows very little time for the non essentials. I know of people that log on to MySpace, facebook, twitter etc... on a daily basis (and sometimes more than once a day) and seem to need that daily interaction for mere survival. I, on the other hand do not. I would however, enjoy blogging daily or even just weekly as the effect of writing has a calming affect on me. The way my life is structured right now however, leaves little time for this little pleasure, so hence the lapse in time... it's not like I have readers clamoring for my very words.... :)

Santa Cruz Half 2009 could not have been scheduled on a more perfect day. Never, in ALL my years of going to Santa Cruz has there ever been a more perfect day at the beach. It was absolutely and divinely perfect! The girls and I rolled into town a little before 7 am and temperatures were already in the 70's. I was ecstatic but knew better then to get too excited as weather in Santa Cruz can change quickly... By the time we found parking and I got my Garmin and iPod strapped on it was time for me to make my way to the start line (we were parked super close) and use the porta potty before the gun went off. The sun was out and very bright and I could feel it warming my back - the perfect running weather for me. Those of you that know me well know how much I hate the cold... It was not overcast as it usually is and that got me even more excited...the heat was one...

I waited around awhile at the start line in hopes of using the porta potty (I had been holding it for about the last hour on the way down) but the lines just didn't seem to be moving at all. I got a little nervous as I have started races before with a full bladder and hate that uncomfortable feeling. I decided I couldn't wait around any longer and decided to start the race anyway. I know the course pretty well and knew that the first bathroom was less that a mile away. And so the gun goes off and we make our way up the very first hill which marks the beautiful start of this race... yeah...my bladder is full and I'm hurtin'. Not a good way to start a race...and all I could think of at that moment was Tim telling me just a few days earlier that one can pretty much tell how a race is going to go by how the first few miles go... "Great," I thought. "I'm screwed." Tim was actually telling me to cut myself some slack at the time and to allow my body to do what I had trained it to do but I was not thinking too positively right then. I knew that if there wasn't anyone in line I could be in and out in about a minute but the chances of that happening were slim. When I ran in, there were only three people ahead of me and I'm trying to calculate just how many minutes I'm going to lose. Luckily, everyone was pretty fast and the stalls (3 of them) emptied out pretty quickly. I lost about two minutes and was strapping on my waterpack as I ran out of the bathroom and back onto the course....aaahhhh I felt soooooo much better...now I could really run.

I've run and biked this course many times and feel very comfortable running it. The first scents of the ocean began to hit my nose and I breathed in the clean ocean air. The first part of the course in not that hilly and only contains slight rolling hills. My breathing felt good, my legs were strong and now that my bladder was empty I felt like this was going to be a great race. I love running those first couple of miles along West Cliff Drive as the ocean is in full view the entire time. I am a big fan of running in places with a beautiful view...sure beats running in places like LA...

At around mile 3 we reach Natural Bridges and we begin to make our way towards Wilder Ranch and the more difficult part of the race as this is where all the hills are. I was maintaining a good pace and was not allowing myself to run any faster than my 9:30 - 9:45 pace despite the fact that I felt like I could. I knew that hills were coming up soon and I wasn't quite sure how I would feel at that point. I had been doing hill training on the treadmill at the gym and felt confident but that is never a guarantee of anything.

Once on the path towards Wilder ranch, we were confronted with piles of horse manure which we had to navigate around and this was a bit of a challenge as that meant dodging other runners who were also trying to either jump over the piles or run around them. It was annoying and at times a bit dangerous as some runners were more cautious than others. This part of the path is paved and serves as a biking/running path for the lucky residents of Santa Cruz but despite the smooth pavement, the enormous piles of horse manure proved to be quite a challenge.

Around mile 4.5 or so, and right before we reached the Historic Farmhouse, I saw this guy bleeding, running in front of me. I slowed of bit to see if he was OK but didn't stop completely until I came right up on him and saw that his forearms and knees were bleeding and he seemed to be struggling. I stopped, turned my iPod off and asked if he was ok and if he needed anything. He thanked me and said he was fine... I doubted it but I think his pride kept him from succumbing completely to the his fall. I did not see him fall but knew that those piles of manure had had something to do with it. I guess those waivers the race officials always have us sign are for occasions just like that...He was a bit embarrassed I think and I could tell he just wanted to move on so I picked up the pace again and kept going... I know I lost some time there but it seemed unnatural to not stop and ask the guy if he was ok. So I lost a minute or two.... (:

I was well on my to Wilder Ranch by now and the elite runners were already coming back and we were cheering them on as each one ran past us and back to the start line...it took several minutes before the first female passed by us - at least the first ten guys ran passed us before the first female passed us... everyone cheered her on... God was she truckin'! I think she gave us girls a little motivation to pick up the speed. I know I did.

I was eating a gel and downing a bottle of water about every half hour. The temperatures had definitely risen and I was happy about that. Most runners were not happy and some were already complaining. The water stations were packed as runners were stopping to drink and hang a bit... I managed to get several cups of water at every station and fill my bottle on the way out...I was trying to make up for the lost minutes...

Once off the trail and back onto Wilder Ranch's paved path, I met Steph at the top of the last big hill. From there until the finish line, I had my own personal photographer and motivator and this helped considerably. By about mile 9 I was getting pretty tired and the question that comes up for me at least once during a half and several times during a full marathon, "Why am I doing this?" came to me yet again and I went through the mental list of the reasons I subject myself to what some would consider pure torture... at the top of list is always: "Because I can."

The last mile and a half of the race were by far the most difficult for me, far more so than running the hills at Wilder Ranch and I was beginning to feel fatigued. This part of the race has only rolling hills as the course is back on West Cliff Drive now but the fatigue was getting to me. Up until this point I was feeling pretty sure that I could beat my last time of 2:10 and thought for sure I could at least beat it by a minute of two. Given the fact that I had run my last SC Half after being up all night with an RA attack I felt good about this one even if it was going to be close... I hit mile 12 and really didn't know if I could finish. My legs were tired and even though my breathing was not labored I was fatigued. Steph was still riding her bike and cheering me on and snapping pictures the whole time. I didn't really seem to notice anything anymore, I just felt my legs and my feet as they hit the pavement with each step. How in the heck did I ever run 5 marathons? HOW?!!!? What has happened to me? I knew it was going to be close but Oh God I wanted to beat my last time even if it was only by a minute..... I was close to reaching the last downhill that takes one to the beach and straight to the finish line and I looked at my watch and knew that there was no way I was going to beat my last time. I was already over by a minute... As I reached the downhill, I sped up and prayed to God for strength and to not slip and fall as I ran downhill. I saw Steph again but sped by her still picking up speed. I knew that once I hit the sand my speed would slow down again and I wanted to have a good momentum going. I hit the sand and the first step into the thick sand almost stopped me...I picked up each foot which seemed to weigh as much as lead and ran through the finish line.....2:12... time to reconcile...Cool medal (not as cool as last time), great looking T-shirt and great tasting food...

We spent the rest of the day in warm, sunny Santa Cruz. We ate at Aldo's, enjoyed the sun and the sand, and had fun watching the dogs play in the water...by 4 pm it was in the 90's and I could not have been happier. It was the perfect day at the beach.... I was of course disappointed with my time but everyone kept reminding me of what 2008 had done to me...it wasn't anything I didn't know, just stuff I preferred to ignore I guess... Two hospital stays in 2008 and two in 2009, plus all the other stuff that had happened with my house and my job and I guess that I was ok...I was only off by two minutes despite everything. I'm gonna beat this thing...

I'll be back next April...