Sleep? What's that?

I started this blog back in '07 because a friend encouraged me to write as a way to communicate with others who share similar interests and also as a way to keep writing; something I love but don't find time to do. Part of my frustration back in '07 was that I was recently divorced and busier than ever. When I had been been married I was always busy but now as a divorced woman, working two jobs and raising two girls, the word "busy" took on a whole new meaning. There were days I felt I had to schedule my potty breaks. I know there are many of you out there in similar situations, who have equally, or quite possibly even more demanding schedules. This blog was intended to share my struggles with being a single working mom, a graduate student and a runner and perhaps find ways to "make it all work," despite the demands that were placed upon me. However, this blog itself is proof that there is simply NEVER enough time, as I rarely post.

I am a perfectionist by nature. Type A personality all the way. Work is what I do. I often wonder what it would be like to be more laid back and sit and read a book while the dishes are piled in the sink, and the laundry sits undone. My kids will tell you I don't rest until it's all done. The problem is that it is rarely ever ALL done. There is always something to do. As I have grown older I have tried to find balance, in fact if there is anything I have strived for in life it was to find balance in all that I do. From exercise, to work, to eating habits etc. Extremes in anything rarely pay off. But that work mode, that drive to get it ALL done, has been hard to curb (I blame my Dad for that. Darn his work ethic that rubbed off on me). And because now I am the only adult in the house I have what I call the "mom duties" AND the "dad duties." Sometimes, I'm mopping floors or baking banana bread, nursing sick kids and doing girl stuff but other days I am mowing lawns, cutting down trees, fixing leaking pipes or cleaning out the gutters. It just comes with the territory of being a single mom. And so comes that battle to find the balance. The search for extra time in the day to get it all done. And then there's the ME TIME. How and when do I find time to run? Better yet, when is it OK to call it a day and just sleep?

I titled today's post: "Sleep? What's that?" because in many ways I feel like I have been trying to sleep since I was 17 when I got my first job. Since then, it seems that sleep has been something that eludes me. There are days where I feel like the only time I will ever get to sleep is when I'm ill or when I'm dead. As parents, we know that with the birth of one's children sleep is something you will probably never do again, at least not until they're out of the house and by then, your body has gotten so used to living on such little sleep that you just automatically get up early. Ha! And so goes life right?

Today is the last day of my Spring Break. It has been a good week off and I've accomplished quite a bit. Not as much as I would have liked, but enough to feel somewhat productive. I told the girls last night that I was going to "sleep in" on Friday morning, my last day of Spring Break. With my oldest being 18, I am now afforded the privilege of having her drive my youngest to school sometimes. So, despite the fact that my To Do List is as big as ever, I told myself to take a day and sleep. A gift to myself if you will. A way to find that "balance." And so I went to bed at a decent time on Thursday night and relished in the fact that I was going to just sleep and sleep until my body had had enough. I have never had a hard time falling asleep and it was no different last night. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. The girls came in the morning before they left for school and kissed me goodbye. I felt a little guilty actually, but I just laid there and sleep overcame me again and I slept. I could hear the rain hitting the skylight and I wrapped the blankets closer around me until the jolt of the phone awakened me and my youngest's voice said: "Mom, can you come get me? I don't feel well." She'd been at school for maybe an hour. Sleep? Who needs it?

Vanessa on our 22-mile training run last December. She rode her bike while we ran and carried extra water for us.

And so it goes folks. I sit here writing this blog as my daughter is sleeping in her bed nursing a sick tummy, my dishes are piled in the sink, I have a stack of papers to grade, laundry waiting to be washed and folded, gutters that need to be cleaned after yesterday's storm and I'm thankful. Thankful that God saw fit to fill my body with energy and a stubbornness that just won't quit. Yes, I often do not get enough sleep and because I am a working mom, I don't get to go on all the field trips or soccer games or see my daughters perform in all their plays and choir performances and sometimes I have to have my oldest take my youngest to her doctor appointments because I've used up all my sick days. And on those days I often feel guilty. Guilty that I am not able to be supermom and do it ALL. It's life though. And it's a good life and I have to acknowledge the fact that I am not supermom and it's OK to take off the cape. I often wish that I could have been a stay-at-home mom and enjoyed all those moments with my girls. Each of us is dealt a hand of cards when we are born. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just the way we play the hand.  

And so I'm thankful. Thankful that I am strong and have two jobs that supply for our needs. Thankful that I have the energy to run when times allows it. Thankful that I have two wonderful girls who are growing up to be beautiful, strong, independent young women. Thankful that I was home today when that phone call came through and that sweet little voice at the other end of the line said: "Mom? Can you come get me? I don't feel well."

"I'll be right there babe."

These are the cards that I was dealt and I will play them to the best of my ability and maybe, if there's still time, I'll go for a run.

www.facebook.com/lifeinthedayofarunner

Love/hate ralationship with "rest days"

I've worked out non-stop for over a week now with no rest day. Not smart. I know this, but I don't follow my own advice out of an incessant need to exercise my body to its limits. Well, now I'm paying for it. I went out Thursday night after work and went for a six-mile run after doing 6 days non-stop of yoga, even though my body was craving rest. On a couple of days last week, I actually ran AND did yoga. My body was begging for rest. So much so, that my run sucked that night. I simply had no energy. My legs felt like lead. But we've all had days like that though right? Days where you're just not "feeling it." As athletes, we learn to ignore those kinds feelings and to push through it because we know that we will feel better on the other side of that workout.Those feelings are usually temporary and are quite often replaced with a huge high following the workout.

So after my run Thursday night, I just crashed. I fell into a deep coma-like sleep already feeling pain in my joints and muscles. So on Friday (Good Friday no less) I ended up having a forced rest day if you will, and on the first day of my vacation. Body was happy. Brain was not. My brain usually wins so I gave in to the body this time. Actually I had no choice. I've had this happen before, where I will go for days and days and sometimes weeks with no rest day and eventually my body just says: "That's it. We're done." Mentally and physically I was done. I couldn't have worked out even if you were paying me to do so. I simply had no energy to speak of. You'd think I'd know this by now right? Perhaps I was waiting for a sign that my body needed rest?

Every athlete knows that rest days are essential to good training; no less important than proper hydration and eating habits. However, I know I'm not the only athlete out there that struggles to take a break from training. There is this incessant desire to run, to feel the wind in my face and the adrenaline begin to flow, to push one's body just a little further. It's a drug all of it's own and when we don't get our drug, we often get cranky.

I practice Bikram yoga on the days when I am not running, as a way to cross train and because it provides such a thorough workout in only an hour and a half. The stretching alone does wonders for my running. For those familiar with Bikram yoga, you know it is an intense hour and half. It is definitely not a workout for the faint of heart (aka WIMPS). I've seen body builders nearly pass out from exhaustion halfway though the workout. There are twenty-six postures that make up the Bikram series and once we reach the floor series, we practice savasana (dead body pose) in between each posture. Each savasana lasts for about 30 seconds and one is supposed to lay there completely motionless as the sweat drip/rolls off your body. No scratching, wiping or moving allowed. Just REST. This rest allows one's body to return to normal breathing and for the blood flow to return to normal after the constricting poses. To quote Bikram Choudhury (founder of Bikram Yoga): "This asana is important because it allows tensed muscles to relax and blood to flow equally to all parts of the body." It's essentially a healing that is taking place. I'll admit that savasana is often one of the hardest poses to practice because one must be completely STILL. Being still is not always easy. Trust me, it looks easier than it is. It is welcoming at first but with the adrenaline that is flowing through one's body, it is only natural to want to get up and continue on with the strenuous activity of burning fat, stretching or what ever else you may be striving for. Simply put, the body needs rest. And I'll admit, I'm not good at it.

So, after pushing myself this last week and on my first day of spring break, I end up in bed because my body was screaming for rest. My body didn't give me much choice. I spent the next 24 hours in bed attempting to regain my strength. Tired muscles, arthritis flare-up and lack of hunger is what I ended up with.

Of course for the first couple of hours, I laid there complaining in my head about the workout I had planned and was now not going to do. I was going to hit up the yoga studio at 9 am,(something I never get to do in the AM because of work) and then later that afternoon I was going for a 5 or 6 mile run. 2 workouts in one day on my first day of vacation. I was psyched. WAS being the key word there. My body had a very different idea of how I was going to spend that first day of vacation. I proceeded to lay in bed for the next 24 hours nursing my aching joints and muscles and attempting to eat despite the fact that everything made me want to puke.

Twenty-four hours later, I feel much better. Not 100%, but better. Whatever was ailing me is slowly going away and I am beginning to feel a bit more "normal" (I know, I know, for the average person I am not normal because of my insane workout schedule but this is MY normal). So, I'm taking the rest of vacation day #2 to catch up on light housekeeping duties, grade tons of college papers and then quite possibly hit the yoga studio at 3 this afternoon. Have I learned my lesson? Probably not. It's my personality. I push everything to its limits. But, I certainly am going to pay more attention to the little signs my body gives me and not let my brain win this game every time.

Daughter Follows in Mom's Running Shoes

Two years have gone by since my last post and it saddens me to think that my life has really been this busy. In the two years that have gone by I have remodeled a house, written a 125-page thesis, graduated from Sac State with my Master's, in addition to doing the normal stuff (working two jobs, caring for my children, and taking care of my house). Oh yeah, and running.

Running has not completely taken a backseat to everything else in my life despite the fact that I have not been training for any BIG races lately. I have still kept running but I have missed the more rigorous training schedule. I have had to put racing aspirations aside for awhile as I focused on other things. During these past two years I have reacquainted myself with Bikram Yoga and have practiced in conjunction to my running which has helped tremendously with my endurance and flexibility. I will take some time later to write about my amazing experience with Bikram.

So, while life has just sped by, other changes have taken place and good things are happening. I am learning to accept the things about myself that I cannot change and attempting to be more flexible where I normally would not be. The fact is: I AM ALWAYS BUSY. Plain and simple. I always have something going on. I don't go out searching for things to do. I just have a lot going on. I am never bored. EVER. I actually do not ever believe I have ever uttered the words: "I AM BORED." Nonetheless, I find that with such a busy lifestyle, I need more time. There is just simply not enough time in the day to do all the things I want or would like to do. With this type of a lifestyle certain things suffer, such as just laying around being lazy with your kids, taking a stroll without any timeline or goal in mind, shooting the breeze with a friend you bump into and not worrying about what is not getting done, taking the time to bake something with your kids that was not planned. I miss and want those things in my life but my TO DO LIST is often overpowering. I am therefore, a work in progress and I know that upon my deathbed, I will still have an unfinished TO DO LIST that I will be handing to my daughters as they roll their eyes at me.

That said, I have been thinking about this blog this whole year and have wanted to get back to it. Partially because I miss writing and secondly because of the therapeutic results it provides. So, I start once again today with a resolve to take some time out of my busy schedule to sit and write a bit and perhaps dialogue with others out there that perhaps struggle with similar things in their life. This blog originally started with the goal of writing about running but I have since come to accept that running, while immensely important in my life, is only a part of who I am and that I am so much more than just a crazy runner who often runs a crazy amount of miles. I am a mother, a girlfriend, a teacher, a daughter, a yogi, a friend, a learner, a landscaper, an organizer, a lover of memories, a baker, a cook, a writer and sometimes a dreamer. Yes, I am runner. My life often seems to be a metaphor for one long MARATHON. Nevertheless, as a runner, I realize that I need to be more flexible and allow for periods of rest.

Today's post therefore, comes with great excitement as I have news to share that thrills my heart. My daughter Stephanie, who will be a senior in High School this coming school year, recently approached me with concerns about what she should do for her mandatory Senior Project. It was with great surprise that she told me she was considering running a half marathon as her Senior Project. As with any Senior Project, she would need a mentor, would need to do research and would have to do field work. She thought the half marathon would be a good option since she had never run more than 6 miles as part of the cross country team at her school and that it would be a challenge to finish the research, the training (field work) and the actual race itself. I was elated as she has never shown interest in running more than a 5K and has often told me that the idea of a longer race just ever seemed attainable. Here is where I opened my BIG mouth: "Instead of running a half marathon, have you thought about running a full marathon? After all, this IS your senior project and you would like it to be a real challenge, something that not even your cross country buddies have done." She took me up on it. Just like that. I was amazed, shocked and excited all at once. We immediately started making plans for the research she would need to do as well as what the final project/paper would look like. I have a Master's degree in composition and I have run 5 marathons myself so I feel so honored to be able to mentor her as she writes this project and trains for this marathon. I am so proud of you Stephanie!

Look for details about our training and about the Marathon she and I will run together in December: The California International Marathon

Santa Cruz and I Make Peace...

It's been two weeks since I ran Santa Cruz Half and it has taken me this long to be able to blog about it. The truth is simple: I really do not have the time for blogging. I don't like to admit to the fact that I am really this busy but the reality of my life at this time is such that it allows very little time for the non essentials. I know of people that log on to MySpace, facebook, twitter etc... on a daily basis (and sometimes more than once a day) and seem to need that daily interaction for mere survival. I, on the other hand do not. I would however, enjoy blogging daily or even just weekly as the effect of writing has a calming affect on me. The way my life is structured right now however, leaves little time for this little pleasure, so hence the lapse in time... it's not like I have readers clamoring for my very words.... :)

Santa Cruz Half 2009 could not have been scheduled on a more perfect day. Never, in ALL my years of going to Santa Cruz has there ever been a more perfect day at the beach. It was absolutely and divinely perfect! The girls and I rolled into town a little before 7 am and temperatures were already in the 70's. I was ecstatic but knew better then to get too excited as weather in Santa Cruz can change quickly... By the time we found parking and I got my Garmin and iPod strapped on it was time for me to make my way to the start line (we were parked super close) and use the porta potty before the gun went off. The sun was out and very bright and I could feel it warming my back - the perfect running weather for me. Those of you that know me well know how much I hate the cold... It was not overcast as it usually is and that got me even more excited...the heat was one...

I waited around awhile at the start line in hopes of using the porta potty (I had been holding it for about the last hour on the way down) but the lines just didn't seem to be moving at all. I got a little nervous as I have started races before with a full bladder and hate that uncomfortable feeling. I decided I couldn't wait around any longer and decided to start the race anyway. I know the course pretty well and knew that the first bathroom was less that a mile away. And so the gun goes off and we make our way up the very first hill which marks the beautiful start of this race... yeah...my bladder is full and I'm hurtin'. Not a good way to start a race...and all I could think of at that moment was Tim telling me just a few days earlier that one can pretty much tell how a race is going to go by how the first few miles go... "Great," I thought. "I'm screwed." Tim was actually telling me to cut myself some slack at the time and to allow my body to do what I had trained it to do but I was not thinking too positively right then. I knew that if there wasn't anyone in line I could be in and out in about a minute but the chances of that happening were slim. When I ran in, there were only three people ahead of me and I'm trying to calculate just how many minutes I'm going to lose. Luckily, everyone was pretty fast and the stalls (3 of them) emptied out pretty quickly. I lost about two minutes and was strapping on my waterpack as I ran out of the bathroom and back onto the course....aaahhhh I felt soooooo much better...now I could really run.

I've run and biked this course many times and feel very comfortable running it. The first scents of the ocean began to hit my nose and I breathed in the clean ocean air. The first part of the course in not that hilly and only contains slight rolling hills. My breathing felt good, my legs were strong and now that my bladder was empty I felt like this was going to be a great race. I love running those first couple of miles along West Cliff Drive as the ocean is in full view the entire time. I am a big fan of running in places with a beautiful view...sure beats running in places like LA...

At around mile 3 we reach Natural Bridges and we begin to make our way towards Wilder Ranch and the more difficult part of the race as this is where all the hills are. I was maintaining a good pace and was not allowing myself to run any faster than my 9:30 - 9:45 pace despite the fact that I felt like I could. I knew that hills were coming up soon and I wasn't quite sure how I would feel at that point. I had been doing hill training on the treadmill at the gym and felt confident but that is never a guarantee of anything.

Once on the path towards Wilder ranch, we were confronted with piles of horse manure which we had to navigate around and this was a bit of a challenge as that meant dodging other runners who were also trying to either jump over the piles or run around them. It was annoying and at times a bit dangerous as some runners were more cautious than others. This part of the path is paved and serves as a biking/running path for the lucky residents of Santa Cruz but despite the smooth pavement, the enormous piles of horse manure proved to be quite a challenge.

Around mile 4.5 or so, and right before we reached the Historic Farmhouse, I saw this guy bleeding, running in front of me. I slowed of bit to see if he was OK but didn't stop completely until I came right up on him and saw that his forearms and knees were bleeding and he seemed to be struggling. I stopped, turned my iPod off and asked if he was ok and if he needed anything. He thanked me and said he was fine... I doubted it but I think his pride kept him from succumbing completely to the his fall. I did not see him fall but knew that those piles of manure had had something to do with it. I guess those waivers the race officials always have us sign are for occasions just like that...He was a bit embarrassed I think and I could tell he just wanted to move on so I picked up the pace again and kept going... I know I lost some time there but it seemed unnatural to not stop and ask the guy if he was ok. So I lost a minute or two.... (:

I was well on my to Wilder Ranch by now and the elite runners were already coming back and we were cheering them on as each one ran past us and back to the start line...it took several minutes before the first female passed by us - at least the first ten guys ran passed us before the first female passed us... everyone cheered her on... God was she truckin'! I think she gave us girls a little motivation to pick up the speed. I know I did.

I was eating a gel and downing a bottle of water about every half hour. The temperatures had definitely risen and I was happy about that. Most runners were not happy and some were already complaining. The water stations were packed as runners were stopping to drink and hang a bit... I managed to get several cups of water at every station and fill my bottle on the way out...I was trying to make up for the lost minutes...

Once off the trail and back onto Wilder Ranch's paved path, I met Steph at the top of the last big hill. From there until the finish line, I had my own personal photographer and motivator and this helped considerably. By about mile 9 I was getting pretty tired and the question that comes up for me at least once during a half and several times during a full marathon, "Why am I doing this?" came to me yet again and I went through the mental list of the reasons I subject myself to what some would consider pure torture... at the top of list is always: "Because I can."

The last mile and a half of the race were by far the most difficult for me, far more so than running the hills at Wilder Ranch and I was beginning to feel fatigued. This part of the race has only rolling hills as the course is back on West Cliff Drive now but the fatigue was getting to me. Up until this point I was feeling pretty sure that I could beat my last time of 2:10 and thought for sure I could at least beat it by a minute of two. Given the fact that I had run my last SC Half after being up all night with an RA attack I felt good about this one even if it was going to be close... I hit mile 12 and really didn't know if I could finish. My legs were tired and even though my breathing was not labored I was fatigued. Steph was still riding her bike and cheering me on and snapping pictures the whole time. I didn't really seem to notice anything anymore, I just felt my legs and my feet as they hit the pavement with each step. How in the heck did I ever run 5 marathons? HOW?!!!? What has happened to me? I knew it was going to be close but Oh God I wanted to beat my last time even if it was only by a minute..... I was close to reaching the last downhill that takes one to the beach and straight to the finish line and I looked at my watch and knew that there was no way I was going to beat my last time. I was already over by a minute... As I reached the downhill, I sped up and prayed to God for strength and to not slip and fall as I ran downhill. I saw Steph again but sped by her still picking up speed. I knew that once I hit the sand my speed would slow down again and I wanted to have a good momentum going. I hit the sand and the first step into the thick sand almost stopped me...I picked up each foot which seemed to weigh as much as lead and ran through the finish line.....2:12... time to reconcile...Cool medal (not as cool as last time), great looking T-shirt and great tasting food...

We spent the rest of the day in warm, sunny Santa Cruz. We ate at Aldo's, enjoyed the sun and the sand, and had fun watching the dogs play in the water...by 4 pm it was in the 90's and I could not have been happier. It was the perfect day at the beach.... I was of course disappointed with my time but everyone kept reminding me of what 2008 had done to me...it wasn't anything I didn't know, just stuff I preferred to ignore I guess... Two hospital stays in 2008 and two in 2009, plus all the other stuff that had happened with my house and my job and I guess that I was ok...I was only off by two minutes despite everything. I'm gonna beat this thing...

I'll be back next April...

Time to give my perfectionist self a break...Will Santa Cruz Half and I ever make peace?

I am a perfectionist by nature. I take after my father. I love organization and get a high from reorganizing and putting things in their proper place. I do not attempt something unless I plan on giving it my all. I do not do things half way. I'm either in it for the long haul or not at all. I am someone you would want to share a foxhole with....I tend to rock the boat though too but that goes hand in hand with the art of perfectionism... but I digress.... perfectionism....

And so it is with running. I take it too seriously sometimes and do not allow my body to simply be nourished by the benefits of running. I often forget that along with the physical aspects of what it does for me it also helps me mentally and spiritually and it is the latter two that often get forgotten amidst the goals I set for myself. Sometimes I am able to remind myself of these benefits and I cut myself some slack but all too often it is another runner or a friend that will help me see that there are times when setting a new PR should not always be the goal.

This brings me to The Santa Cruz Half-Marathon which I will run on Sunday. This race and I seem to be at odds with each other and it doesn't seem right especially given the fact that SC is my favorite beach town. It's where I hang out in the summer and where I have so many fond memories. Even so, I just can't seem to get it right at this race.

I first ran in back in '07 and had reserved a room for Saturday night so I could be there early on Sunday morning. I hate the stress of driving to a race on race day, especially if it's over an hour drive. So, the girls and I headed out Saturday morning, got to Santa Cruz, checked in and then we hung out at the boardwalk for a while, I picked up my bib and then we hung out with friends. I was feeling a little tired but nothing out of the ordinary and for the most part felt pretty good about this race. I had trained well and felt ready to tackle it with every perfectionist bone in my body. I couldn't shake the slight achiness I felt though...

Ah! But the body you see is so infinitely intricate isn't it? Mine had decided to turn itself against me back in 2004 when my invisible enemy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, took up residence in my body. In 2007, despite taking the fact that I had my monthly doctor appointments and I took all my meds like a good little girl, I pretty much didn't talk about RA with anyone except family and even then I brushed it off as nothing. This auto-immune disease was something that I would get over with time, much like the flu or some other annoying virus. At the time of this race I had not yet become an expert at listening to my body and recognizing the effects of what this disease was doing to me. I had begun running back in '06 partly to run from my demons but also because I secretly knew that one of the things that was going to keep me healthy and stave off this disease was to exercise every day. And so it was that I had one of my first "flare ups" that night in the hotel room. Had I paid more attention to my body and knew then what I know now, I would have known what was coming. And so it was that I stayed up for most of the night soaking my gnarling hands in the hot water in the bathroom sink of the hotel. I would lay down for what seamed to only be a few minutes and I would be up again soaking my hands. Around 3 am I found some "Tiger Balm" in my bag and I spread it all over my hands paying particular attention to my joints and then put socks on my hands. By morning I was exhausted from being up all night and I still could not properly use my fingers. This flare up had only attacked my hands this time though and not my entire body so I decided to run anyway. I managed to get my running gear on and then spread more tiger balm on my hands and put my running gloves on. I kept them on the entire race and managed to keep my hands in the same position for the entire 13.1 miles so I wouldn't feel as much pain...drinking water from my water bottle was painful and I had to always use both hands but managed it somehow...how I set a PR that day is still unknown to me... Back at the hotel after the race I just laid in a hot tub and let my joints soak in the warmth as tears spilled down my cheeks...I don't think I would do that again, but then again...maybe I would...I am as stubborn now as I was then and I refuse to let this disease get me down...it is certainly NOT recommended to do what I did but we each have our own demons to fight and that day I had to fight mine...

In 2008 I signed up for the race again determined to set a new PR and at the same time regain some of my dignity. I signed up early to guarantee my spot. And then in February I find out I had to have surgery (another story for another time). I did what I had to do, followed the doc's orders and fully intended to be at that starting line in April...my body on the other hand had other ideas and by race day I was still in the process of recuperating. I was irked to say the least both by the fact that I lost my entry fee but also because I would have to wait another year....

And so we arrive at present day. I have my bib in hand and am ready to do this despite the fact that the past year has been wrought with hospital visits and my body has been pricked and prodded more times than I care to count and my training has been irregular except for the past three months... race day is a day and a half away and I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself about my performance...

Yesterday however as I stood in line at The Sports Basement to pick up my bib, I looked around at the other runners and was drawn to how different we all looked from one another. We each were there with a different purpose and a different goal in mind. Some looked like what one would think a runner should look like and others looked the furthest thing from a runner. That is what draws me to this group of unique people...there really is no such thing as a "typical runner." If you lace up your shoes and you log your miles every day or every week you are a runner. Regardless of body shape or composition. Regardless of race goal...

I realized yesterday that I am part of a very unique group of people. One half of one percent (thank you Tim for the stats) of the population do what I do. Most of my neighbors don't do what I do. So it's true that this past year has been wrought with valleys and I have not seen many mountaintops but what is important is that I have not given up (I've thought about it a few times) and even on the days when I was in excruciating pain and wondered if there would come a day when I wouldn't be able to run anymore, today I WILL run. Today I WILL lace up my shoes and be grateful that I can. Today I WILL allow my body to enjoy what running does for me. Today I WILL enjoy myself and on Sunday I WILL join my fellow runners and we will each run our own race...

Rock on fellow runners.. I'll see you at the start line...

Another Mud Run under my belt...

And so it is fellow runners, this Runnerchik finishes another Big Sur Mud Run, celebrates another birthday and starts out 2009 with a bang. This was my first run of the year and it was a great way to start my racing calendar for 2009 (despite getting a slow start) as well as celebrate my 40th birthday. I had run it back in '07 when I celebrated my 38th and I vowed to myself that I would return to celebrate my 40th. There were times this year that I doubted it would happen due to the various medical issues I have suffered this past year as well as the overwhelming task of remodeling my new house but despite the setbacks this runner just keeps on runnin'.

This year, race day dawned crisp and clear and by the time the girls and I were rolling into Monterrey, the sun was shining and it was warming up a bit (what what can consider "warm" for Monterrey). The set up was pretty much the same as 2007 except that the venue has grown a bit and as I walked towards the check-in station to pick up my bib and chip I saw that the final mud pit had changed a bit as well. The army net that covered the pit made it appear more challenging and it seemed deeper than last time. I also saw that they had taken away the tunnel that came just before the final mud pit. I knew I wouldn't miss that part of the race as last time the tiny rocks that they had spread through the small claustrophobic enclosure seemed to have lodged themselves in my knees forever as I crawled through it...

As I stood in line to pick up my bib, I looked around at my fellow competitors and saw the usual teams as well as individual runners. I could tell it was going to be a great run as the sky was clear and it was not cold at all.

I was in the second wave and we watched as the first wave took off and then we prepared ourselves for the military "warmup." It is always a lot of fun and makes for a great start to an otherwise rather unorthodox race. As we did our "pushups" and our "situps" on the very hard and pebble-ridden blacktop, I couldn't help but wish for my yoga mat. Not very military-like huh? I also kept thinking of my friend Lynda's son Jonathan who just recently joined the military and all the things he has to go through in boot camp. I decided to suck it up and give it everything I had.

Our wave took off at about 9:13 (the first wave took off at 9) and we took off down the street for about the first mile and half 'till we came to the first shallow mud pit (no more than shin deep) as well as the first barricades which we had to hustle and climb over. I could tell that for some it was their first mud run as they were not quite sure what to do. Some just sort of stopped and tried to figure out how to get over the barricades...Others, like myself, made sure we had a good speed to ensure we got over the barricade in one jump - wet, muddy shoes and all. Legs were flying, some were getting kicked and mud was flying everywhere!!! What a blast!!! Can you think of a better way to celebrate one's 40th?

Once one is through the first mud pit it is nothing but running through the sand for another couple of miles. For those who were not used to running hills much less in the sand they were dying out there. The course description listed on the website is very vague and it was clear that many were not quite sure what they had gotten into. Running in the sand is already particularly difficult but couple that with hills and unless one's calves are in very good shape and one's endurance level is up for those hills, it can prove to be a very challenging race - even if it is only five miles...

After running in the sand for a couple of miles the terrain levels off a bit and right before we hit mud # 2 and # 3 we get a "water" station passing out beer. Yes, beer. Needless to say I passed. I ran a little further and they were passing out water. I took that gladly. The smell of beer was rather nauseating but soon I came upon the second mud pit and forgot all about it. We hit the second and third pits both of which come with their own five-foot wall which is nicely centered in the middle of the mud pit. Once one accomplishes the task of getting over the wall one has to jump back into the mud pit and then climb out of it via a very muddy and very slippery slope. This is repeated twice - once at the second pit and again at the third. The only difference is that at the third pit one has to "walk the plank" in order to get into the mud pit. If one falls off the plank, they would find themselves ....well.... at the bottom of the mud pit.... if successful in "walking the plank," it is only a matter of walking (or wading) through the mud pit, climbing the five-foot wall, jumping over the other side into the mud pit and then climbing the slippery slope.... after all...... what's a little mud...?

We're nearing the end now but keep in mind that this course is not marked and while there are military personnel at different checkpoints, there are no mile markers. Every military person I asked either didn't know what mile we were at or had the same rehearsed saying: " You're about halfway there ma'am... I don't know if I was more annoyed at the fact that they were calling me "ma"am" or the fact that they seemed completely perplexed why these mud-stricken runners were so intent on knowing what mileage we were at. There is no way I would wear my Garmin at a mud run so I had to count on a runner here or there that had the time on them. Next time I'll buy a cheap Walmart stopwatch.....

After the third mud pit we came out on blacktop again and so the running became a little easier. We ran until we came up on the last hill where I knew from running the last one in '07 that once one comes up and over the hill one has to run down into the last mud pit which is covered by a big camouflage army net. This is where the majority of the spectators stay and is the best place for photos opportunities both for seeing the runners getting into the pit but also coming out.... Needless to say I took that last pit and gave it everything I had. By this time I was so muddy that it really made no sense to take it easy so I crouched down and ran through it, squishing mud beneath my shoes and came out yelling on the other side. There is also a slippery slope on this pit too and despite looking easy, it is very easy to slip and fall primarily because there is so much water dripping off of everyones body. I had managed not to slip or fall once the entire race and there was no way I was going to let it happen at the end and let it get caught on camera. I came out on the top of the last slope, gave the photographer my signature "Victory" sign and took off towards the finish line. On the way to the finish line there is a "shower" that ones runs through in order to get to the track which takes one to the finish line. The shower is merely a "formality" but the psychological aspect of running through a "shower" after one runs in the mud for an hour or so is nothing if not completely comical. The dismayed look on runners' faces once they realize that the "showers" described on the website are nothing more than hoses draped over a steel frame and fully exposed, is priceless. No shampoo and soap at these showers. Thankfully I am quite familiar with Monterrey and know of a perfect shower only a few miles away.

After retrieving my medal ( very cool by the way) and my shirt, I hung around with the girls and munched on oranges and bagels as the sun warmed up my body. I waited for the results to come in and saw that my time was 56:16. I was five minutes slower this year than two years ago but I cut myself some slack due to the irregular training for the last six months.

I had an absolute blast! I made new friends (as I always do at these functions) and told the girls we'd be back to celebrate my 42nd birthday. The Big Sur mud Run will be in it's 6th year, it will be my third Mud Run and I will celebrate another victorious birthday!

Rock on runners....

Once a runner...always a runner...

I know the old saying is that "time flies" and while that is true it also remains true that time flies when one is having fun or when one is too busy to do anything about it. I haven't blogged since June and I have run slightly more than I have blogged. 2008 was not such a good year as far as running any records for me or for any running distances. I only ran three official races last year and not one of those was a marathon. I ran one half marathon and a couple of 10ks and one 5k. Certainly not what I did in '06 or '07 where I ran an average of 10 - 15 races each year. Nonetheless, 2008 proved to be a productive year otherwise. I hiked, biked, bought a house, two dogs and realized just how blessed I really am.

I started this blog as a way of communicating with the running community as well as write about my running "ups and downs." I am not what one would call a "professional runner" but rather I run first and foremost for my physical health. I have run for years but only in the last four years have I begun running long distances. When I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis back in 2004, I researched the auto immune disease with as much intensity as I put into anything else I am passionate about and I found that exercise would only increase my mobility as well as stave off what could potentially become a debilitating disease. There is no way I would allow that to happen. I began then, to run even more than I was running before (5 marathons my first year) and began incorporating more weight training into my routine. I found myself running more than I weight trained but it is still a part of my weekly training. With the running came added relief and more energy overall, not to speak of the physical changes such as weight loss and added muscle mass. But because I am not a professional runner, I run as my schedule allows me to.

As a single mother of two daughters, a full time high school teacher, and a part time college instructor there is not always a lot of time to run and I have to be very structured if I am to find the time to train. My schedule remains the same in that I run five miles a day M - F and then do my long run of between 10 - 20 miles on the weekends. It makes for a nice schedule and allows me to train for my shorter and longer races.

2008 brought about a lot of "distractions" if I can call them that. First it was the foot injury I suffered back in July 2007 at the San Francisco Marathon which took me forever to get healed from and by January (after I ran CIM in December) I was still suffering from it and continued on the treatment my doctor had set me up on. In February I had some further bad news unrelated to the foot injury which led me to have surgery in March and a slow recuperation thereafter. In July I closed on a house and I have spent from August until now remodeling it. It has a been a huge undertaking and I bit more than I had bargained for. In August I was still planning on running CIM and was way ahead of my running schedule. By the end of August I had already done a 23-mile training run and was doing well in my training schedule. By October I was pulling all nighters so that I could move into my new house and my training was beginning to suffer. In the month of October I stopped running for a full month and while by November I was back on my running schedule, it was nowhere where I wanted it to be and by then I knew there was no way I could run CIM and expect to break last year's record so I opted not to run.

Once a runner... always a runner... and because of that I will continue to run no matter what life brings my way. As someone who is not paid to run it is up to me to set my goals and training schedule and to decide what I can and cannot do. Life often brings us situations that effect our training and prevent us from doing what we would normally be doing. Sometimes it is personal, sometimes it is work related and sometimes our health does not allow us to perform. Blessed are those runners who have not suffered any health problems and who do not have outside influences that affect their training however many of us do and despite those influences we seek to train anyway and to perform better than we performed yesterday.

On a last note, I have two new additions to my family: a black Labrador named Ebony and a chocolate Labrador named Tuscany. Ebony is 7 months old and Tuscany is 5 months old and will soon be my new running partners. I have already taken Ebony out on a couple of short runs and will be incorporating longer runs as she gets older. Running, hiking and camping this coming summer are going to be a blast!

Have you run today?